My Own Space Dementia

If You Can : Ready Set Scrap

2008-07-24T13:37:36Z

Finished this layout last night.
It's really pretty, don't think photos captured all the color and texture
The quote i read over the weekend over at www.designformankind.com and it just really stuck with me:

If you can walk, you can dance
If you can talk, you can sing

It's a proverb from Zimbabwe. So optimistic and spiritual!

The layout is a challenge for Ready Set Scrap. The challenge is to use tape and paint in your layout. They must've been thinking of me when they thought it up, cause that's all i use :)

OKIE. So, for the base, i used 4 different types of tapes on this! Masking, electrical, duct, and friction tape.
Also behind the tape is crumbled up newspaper i SOAKED in water and paint.
I have gotten so into making my own backgrounds now! Screw 2 dimensional :)

The circle is a gasket painted and then there's also a picture of me striking a pose that i cut out, painted over then etched out the definition highlights. LOVE IT.

Better close up of the etching, newspaper and electrical tape

<3 <3 <3 <3 TAPE AND PAINT!!! TAPE AND PAINT!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OH YES - and the red pebbles i found on the sidewalk - like someone had thrown a lamp out of a window by my brothers condo that had the red pebbles all over them so i picked through the broken glass for them - there is NO such thing as trash people!!!!

work still sucks

2008-07-24T11:25:30Z

i've been in a pretty good mood lately - distracted by my creativity infusion and kickboxing endorphins.
so, i can pretty much let work woes roll off of me.
i spend 40 hours of my life in this cubicle, but that doesn't mean i live for work.

the company is going through more turmoil.
13 people were laid off last week and they announced we still won't be getting pay increases until at least 2009. People are stressed to capacity with work and there's just a lot of complaining.

but, what i think annoys me the most (besides snot snorter) is sam.
everything to him is crisis mode.
everything to him is this big imposition that is overwhelming.
and a couple of times he's forced me to say "the world is not going to end if so and so doesn't get their edits in 2 hours like they expect even though our standard is 2 days turnaround" and then he gives me a weird look.

it shouldn't bother me that he is such a follower, doesn't like to rock the boat in anyway, never says no to someone even when their request is impossible... but it does.

i'm not trying to be difficult or not a team player, but i'm not going to let a job give me an ulcer and i'm certainly not going to call a late project a crisis. Fucking, dirty water and HIV/AIDS in africa is a crisis. people losing their homes and not being able to eat is a crisis. I just want to yell at all the people working 100 hour work weeks around here to get some perspective. Or maybe they're not making less than $35K a year and haven't seen a raise in a year and a half and get shit on because they're at the bottom of the food chain. hmmmmmmmmm

Although, he did introduce me to another new word today!
"they may be saving their salvo’s for Lara"

sal·vo 1 (sāl'vō)
n. pl. sal·vos or sal·voes
Something resembling a release or discharge of bombs or firearms, as:
1. A sudden outburst, as of cheers or praise.
2. A forceful verbal or written assault.

but all in all - i'm cheerful. in a good mood.
just roll with the punches and remember the weekend is only a day away.
here is a line from my horoscope today, it sums up how i feel at 7:30am:

"Today will be chock full of simple pleasures that remind you how life can be quite delightful and sweet sometimes!"

Photos 200-205

2008-07-23T23:34:07Z

Almost a week in photos....

Day 200

Day 201

Day 202

Day 203

Day 204

Day 205

Fight: Gutter Girlz Layout

2008-07-20T23:37:59Z

Here is a layout done for the Gutter Girlz challenge - the prompt is "Fight" and the material to use is "torn paper." It's kind of a personal layout, but i'm all about the journalling these days :)
Perhaps, an alternative title for the layout should be "control freak" hahahahahahaha

OK, so what the camera does NOT capture is the amount of texture on the page. I took inspiration from my successful paper whore layout and used scraps and tape to build texture which i then gesso'd over to make a more uniform color then painted over. And of course i dripped paint too :)
Also, i used the Hambly overlay - i love how it looks, but it sure doesn't photograph easily! Geez!

Also, the photo, it's the first time i used a photoshop texture filter/effect, so perhaps this layout can be called a hybrid :) But, ya, i "distressed" the photo digitally, although i did "erase" the eye holes to make those stand out a bit. The torn paper around the photo (or the frame) is a wallpaper sample all inked up.

aaaaahhhhh, there's the texture i'm obsessed with! Know it, love it.

Weeks 27 and 28 Art Journal

2008-07-20T21:40:39Z

Welp, i started a new journal for the second half of this year for all the 366 self portraits! I've been extremely fasciated with art journals for awhile now but didn't quite know how to dive in. The thought of an art journal kinda overwhelmed me, maybe its the word "art" in the title, and some of the art journals i've seen from other artists are so spectacular i didn't even want to attempt it.
But when i realized half the year was up and the mini-book format i was using for my 366 challenge was bursting at the seams i decided, what the hell, i'll try my hand at art journalling.

So, here are the first 2 "entries" - weekly summaries of the photos from the 366 project. I've also decided to make this an actual journal and write my actual thoughts and experiences for the week the pages are summarizing! I think i will miss that when i look back at the other minibook i was making. Pictures do tell 1000 words, but actual words can tell so much more sometimes :) And thank goodness for Live Journal - it makes an awesome reference to look back on since week 27 was 2 weeks ago!!! hahahahahaahahaha.

so, i bought this book at Staples for, i think it was, $7.99. I also invested in one of those date stamps for $4.99 since i liked what Tracy did with hers so much PLUS dating stuff seems to be a good idea :)

Cover Page:

ahhhhhh duct tape and paint, how i love you so!

Week 27:

Week 28:

366 Photos - Days 196-199

2008-07-20T14:37:35Z

POD

Day 196

Day 197

Day 198

Day 199

work still sucks

2008-07-18T11:17:43Z

work has been pretty sucky (again).
good thing i've been in such a sparkly mood.
and i don't really give a flying fuck about this company.
let's most of the shit roll off me.
been so busy i can't even chat or surf or post during the day.
and at night the last thing i want is to be on my computer.

so, tuesday the company laid off 13 more people.
totally blind-sided everyone.
they don't share or communicate anything with anyone below upper management. granted, this is the most corporate place i've ever worked, but it seems so extreme how stratiated the management and employee levels are - upper management can't even socialize with us peeons outside of the workplace - i know this as fact.

they had this long 2 hour meeting on wednesday announcing the layoffs and whats going on and will be going on and all it was was 4 buffoons who drive fancy cars and wear fancy suits blabbering about nothing in particular and creating smoke screens. It was so obvious it was a joke. Everyone around me was snickering and hurumphing.

Basically no one has gotten a raise in 1.5 years and we don't know when to expect another one. My co-worker figured this year by not getting raises we've all taken 6% pay cuts.

I'm just trying to get through the day, ever day, so i can go home and scrap.
fucking hate fucking work.
but what else am i going to fucking do? live in a cardboard box and eat Ramen?

ok ... positive vibes.

are they serious?!

2008-07-17T20:12:11Z

i got one of those ticketmaster.com announcements in my email for upcoming shows and was curious what kind of tickets are left for Madonna.
The "best available" is at the front of the house in the first section - pretty good - i nearly shit my pants when i saw the price - $340!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT - when did concert tickets get so ridiculously expensive?
I mean really - how much money does it take to put on a show?
Thats fucking rape, man - no way no how am i paying that.

Ever.

I mean, talk about alienating your fanbase.
And she cares so much about the "poor" people in Malawi?
That's fucking bullshit.
I'm glad I'm not a 13 year old wannabe anymore cause i'd be seriously disappointed.
Well, i am disappointed but for a whole other reason.

TRUE original

2008-07-16T11:09:46Z

OMG I <3 today's horoscope PASSIONATELY!
Sagittarius ROCKS!

Daily Horoscope Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Your creativity is at all-time high right now, and it's feeding your original mind some very original thoughts. You'll have a lot of fun adding your unique spin to things. And while not everything you put your stamp on will become a huge success, just showing the world how you think will score you a big win. Let your fashion choices convey the mood you're in, too -- wear something that helps you stand apart from the crowd. Ask for attention -- you're ready for it!

WOWWOOWOWOOW.
i hope today is another sparkling day!

Bono's Birthday Card - DONE!

2008-07-16T01:54:55Z

So, here's the card for Bono I've been obsessed with since July 3.
It took hours and hours of complete meditation and love.
I think its probably the most beautiful thing I've ever made!!!
And it feels so good holding it in my hands - the size and the weight and the texture.
I wish these pictures could convey even an iota of that.
but oh well.
I hope it feels as nice to him when he holds it in his hands.
Even if for a sec.

Without further ado, pictures:

The cover.
The heart is rusted metal i bought for 50¢ at The Scrapbox in Ann Arbor. The circle is a gasket i painted and glimmer misted to be like rust. Kinda worked.... Obviously the covers show best what all the pages look like - tissue paper with tulle and acrylic paint stamped with Fancy Pants stamp and bubble wrap.

The type of binding i used, used string to hold it in place.

Back cover. In the past I haven't put my name on these cards, but I'm sorry, i threw myself into this one and i think its beautiful, so I added my name on the back cover. Hope no one minds....

Usually we include a certificate for the amount raised, this year i hand wrote it to make it more personal:

Here is a better look at the binding of the pages. I learned the technique from Sarah Bowen at a class she taught at SiSiversary last month:

The pages are hand sewn into the bind.

Over view of the pages. I'm actually kinda proud of how i did this! I wanted an old parchment look but had printed the messages on regular white paper. I then painted over the top of each sheet with a light coat of brown acrylic paint mixed with gesso, then folded the corners and inked them with Tim Holtz's Distressed Ink.

just a neat macro shot showcasing all the texture:

HOPE HE LIKES IT!!!!!

universe is smiling

2008-07-15T17:05:27Z

OK,
its my journal so i can "toot" my own horn (as it were) - right?
The universe is, like, smiling on me today somehow.

First i find out about the guest design spot at gutter girlz

Then i just went to the gym and 2 people commented how amazing and toned i look

and then i was just in the bathroom and the company president was washing her hands and she started gushing about how she's heard what a wonderful job i'm doing since taking on the AARP account. And it wasn't just "i heard you've been doing good work" it was "i heard you've been doing alot of work and doing it well and helping everyone alot and everyone is really impressed with you" type kind of praise.

so, excuse me if i'm smiling from ear to ear but sometimes i feel like a fucking burning star in the sky.

and right now is one of those times.

(as she adds entry to memories)

WOW!

2008-07-15T15:47:29Z

HOLY CRAP IN A HAT!

I was chosen to be the guest designer over at Gutter Girlz!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am honored and shocked and surprised and excited and, um, shocked?!

Super cool :D
WOW!

I actually cried a little after figuring out why my picture was on their page.
hahahahahahaha
who, me?

it's like when my friends sarah and carl gave me a flask one year for my birthday and they had had my name engraved in it and i asked them why my name was on it - hahahahahahahaha

duhoy.

Weekend 366 Self Portraits

2008-07-14T11:25:39Z

Days 193 - 195

Day 193

Feeling a little devious, thoughtful and energetic on Friday.
It's been a pretty optimistic month so far... thank GAWD.

Day 194

I know this is cheesy - but i wanted a marker of when i finally finished the AWF gift for Bono i've been working obsessively on for 2 weeks. And i adore it and am really proud of it. (pictures coming hopefully later today)

Day 195

I don't think one can ever have too many pictures of painty fingers! Newp.

Paper Whore : Gutter Girlz

2008-07-14T00:57:02Z

Layout for the Gutter Girlz Challenge blog.
The challenge is to use the theme "Junkie" and to use packaging in it.
I really don't have many vices anymore except, well, scrapbooking products - most specifically PAPER.
Moreover, i save every scrap i cut - and i have scraps from my very first layouts still!
I've been wanting to do a collage using them for awhile but never really knew how.
Until now!
Yay for inspiration.

heh heh: whore - how often is that word used in a scrapbook layout?!

Just some close up detail:

(yes, i even save the bubble wrap colored with paint)

I know i overdid it on that damn glitter mist again, could do a "whore" layout about that too, i guess :)

187 - 191

2008-07-12T13:24:41Z

couple of days of photos.
really getting into noticing reflective surfaces!

Day 187

Day 188

Day 189

Day 190

Day 191

basket case i am

2008-07-08T11:09:55Z

Daily Horoscope Tuesday, July 08, 2008
It's easy to stay true to your goals in life right now because you're having so much fun pursuing them! Who knew that working toward your dream could involve so much laughter and friendship? Just because there's a smile on your face doesn't mean you're not working your head off, so don't you dare feel guilty for having such a good time when some of your friends are struggling. Your path is one you have created for yourself. You are reaping what you have sown.

Um hit and miss.
Lots of crafting lately - having fun with that goal.
Sure.
Sometimes I get in moods, though, when things don't work out right.
I'm too much of a perfectionist, I guess.
But when layouts or projects go wrong, i guess, depending on where my hormone levels are, I take it hard.
Case in point last night.

I was really excited about this card i'm working on for bono's AWF gift and i put it together and the binding didn't work. And i got really upset and frustrated and just put me in a shitty mood where i couldn't see the light in anything.
Just kept thinking how much I wanted to get this done and see it finished because i thought it would be cool and how even more so i wish i didn't have a day job so i could work on it during the day when my head is fresh cause after spending 8-9 hours at work no matter how grand my plans are to go home and scrapbook my mojo is always sucked away by this fucking job and i end up staring at a blank piece of paper trying to keep my calm or worse yet FORCE myself to create which is like having sex with someone who just lays there motionless with vacant eyes.
Oh well, nothing i can do about it but play the lottery, I guess.

In other news i think my colitis is flaring up.
It's been so long i vaguely recognize the symptoms but what i'm feeling in my intestines (and seeing come out) is definitely not normal and i'm a bit worried. I will go see my PCP today. Because once its flared there's no turning back, hard to get back under control. But its my fault - i've become a lazy pill popper and forget to take the medication quite often. I just hope if it is a flare up it doesn't fuck with my diet. And i don't have to go back on prednisone which definitely would fuck with my diet. health is so important.

I listened to Butterflies and Hurricanes SUPER LOUD on my iPod walking to work just now.
That song is so beautiful and inspirational and moving.
My time *is* now.

short weekend recap

2008-07-07T11:17:47Z

Daily Horoscope Monday, July 07, 2008
Like a baby that can stare at jingling keys for hours, you might be easily distracted by shiny things today -- which could cause you some difficulty with authority. But as long as you make sure you get everything done in a timely manner, you'll be fine. Give yourself little deadlines all day and you'll not only make your boss happy, you'll give yourself a great sense of accomplishment. Don't scold yourself for having scattered thoughts -- it's only to be expected right now.

HAHAHAHAAA - this is me every day!
Like ... EVERY moment of every day.

How'd a three day weekend go so quickly?
Of course I only got 2 things on my todo list done.
But in my defense this card I'm making for Bono ... ummmm ... well besides the fact i've spent the last 3 days of my life on it, its going to be really beautiful once it all dries and i can piece it together - hopefully tonight. I'm pretty excited. Of course it's nothing like i planned it to be and even if he throws it in a heap of trash or other gifts i've learned some new techniques from it!

So, the theme of the weekend was crafting.
Its about all i did it seems. Which is fine. My soul feels nourished.

Saturday night Eric and i went to dinner then to see Tom Waits at the Fabulous Fox Theatre.
We ate at Cafe Sunflower - an all vegetarian restaurant - and it was quite delicious although expensive. To tell you how much eric and i eat out, and when we do eat out where we go, the bill was $70 and we both nearly had heart attacks. We're used to leaving a $20 on the table which covers bill and a generous tip.

But, i guess every once in awhile aint a bad thing. And it was good. Eric was laughing at me at one point when i was eating the vegan carrot cake and i was like "what?!" and he said i'm funny when i eat "special" food cause i eat it really slow and saver it now and look like i'm having sex. Didn't know i did that - i guess it's a side effect of the diet!

Anyways then we went off to the Fox for Mr. Waits. The Fox Theatre is a brilliantly old beautiful theatre - the kind with twinkling stars built into the ceiling. Tom was Tom - though more animated than last time we saw him. He was definitely working the vaudeville vibe. He's such an anomaly to me cause his voice is so almost hard to listen to but some of his songs just bring me to tears. Like "Innocent When You Dream" - which became a mighty audience sing-a-long by the end of it - i did literally have tears in my eyes. I have no idea how old that dude is but he has got a lot of chutzpah!

So, that's about it for the weekend. My stomach hurts a little - i think i've eaten too much fruits and vegetables. We kinda over did it at the market on Friday and then last night for dinner was BBQ corn and asparagus and watermelon and cantaloupe. For lunch today i made a fruit salsa (DELICIOUS) and mixed in black beans. Kickboxing at 5pm so i need the extra protein.

Speaking of... kickboxing...i haven't gone since Thursday and my body, dare i say it, feels normal? I'm not sure which i like more - seriously - no pain or some pain! So odd. I did run 3 miles on Saturday and Sunday though... but that isnt really painful anymore.

Walking Layout

2008-07-06T21:39:29Z

Layout for the Art is Found Challenge blog about walking.
I decided to combine journalling about my love for walking in urban areas with found objects I've picked up off the streets the last couple of months. It's kind of a gritty layout, but that's where i find the beauty of downtown Atlanta.

This is what the journaling says in case its hard to read:

Beauty lies in not only what we think is pleasing to the eye, but what we think is ugly. I am so inspired by what so many people think of as ugly - trash, chipped paint, cracked pavement... these are what have the history and depth.

Friday i photo journaled my walk home from work. I've never so conciously noticed the variety of color and texture my feet touch 10 times a week. And it wasn't the polished granite or swept sidewalks that excited me - it is the well-worm crosswalk paint, trash in the gutter and variety of grate covers. I love to pick up the trash and wonder why it was there and where it came from. Then give it this new purpose.

In retrospect i probably would not have written over the crosswalk!

Like i say in the journaling on the page, one of the things that inspire me about urban walking are all the textures and colors and materials under my feet. i think this picture/layout captures some of that nicely:

I made the crosswalk actually more realistic than I thought possible!!! I took a picture and printed it out 8.5x11 then put gray duct tape on the back. Then with an exacto i cut out the crosswalk and then painted on top of the tape with white acrylic paint. After it dried i was able to scratch and distress it and the two materials together actually made the same look at the crosswalks you see that have been used and abused on the street! I was pretty psyched when i got that result!

The background is black acrylic paint lightly painted over the screen i trash picked, the cement netting also track picked and also the piece of cardboard was used as a stamper. So basically everything on the layout was used twice :D (in addition to however it had been used before cast off as trash).

Weeks 25 and 26!

2008-07-05T14:01:41Z

So - that's half a year - down and done!!!!
I've decided to start a new minibook for the last 26 weeks of this year.
It was actually a hard to decision to make cause half of me doesn't want to let go of this book, but it's getting too thick for the binder rings and even though i know i could find bigger rings, starting a new volume isn't the worst idea in the world. Especially since the first 6 months of this year have been the most intense months in my entire life - and how fortunate was i to be taking part of this photo challenge when all the madness happened?!!!! Documented for eternity...

Week 25

Week 26

For the background of these pages i finally decided to retire the palette i had been using for months for my paint and gluey stuff. I think its fitting :)

Here are some photos of the book as a whole ... done.

Well, almost done - I need to make a back page for it and i still haven't done the first page where i was going to fill in my goals for the year and what i wanted to accomplish - good thing i wrote that all down in LJ to remind me!!! :D :D :D

I've always been so enthralled when people show these albums they've made with things sticking out of the pages and looking well worn, I think this is the thing i like 2nd most about this whole book - the texture the pages make and the welcoming vibe they give me to want to touch and explore them!

Even the materials i can see hanging out remind me of things about the last 6 months of my life - more creative things like the different techniques i've learned and used (and abused).

Day 186

2008-07-04T22:03:32Z

July 4th POD

or Day 186 of the year:

Weeks 22-23-24 in Mini Book

2008-07-04T17:02:26Z

Been playing catch up with the 366 Photo a Day Mini Book.
Almost there......

Here are weeks 22, 23 and 24!

Week 22

Week 23

Week 24

...... 2 more weeks to come!!!!!!

Day 185

2008-07-03T21:52:21Z

OK, this picture has a little of an explanation.

I decided to take a photo study of me walking home today.
I took 315 pictures in about 25 minutes.
Its funny how the people around you react when they see a camera.
especially on the train :)
anyways, most of the photos were of my feet on different surfaces and textures.
i want to try and recreate the textures with paper and paint and tape etc
I really had no idea how many different types of sidewalks there are downtown!
kooky.

Anyways, over the year plus i have been walking downtown to work and back there's something i always notice, there's a lot of hate and anger between people and inside people. especially homeless people who obviously have behavioral and emotional issues. they tend to just yell at the air.

Mostly, though, I hate hearing people yelling at each other and a part of me does get scared, I have to admit. Especially when i hear talk of guns and knives which i most definitely do. NOT that I have seen visual evidence of these things, but I've heard threats. And men puffing out their chests and getting in each others faces.

Anyways, that is what happened today - some guy was yelling at another guy from the other side of the street about going and kicking his ass and since i had the camera out I just snapped a shot of my natural reaction.

I hate hearing so much anger - it makes me almost feel angry and i guess disturbed.
But that is humanity, I guess?

that's why it's called kickboxing...

2008-07-03T17:31:21Z

just got back from kickboxing.
THIS should be the quote of the day:
When Ronnie, my trainer, told me to do 50 side kicks to his pads
i said "enough with the kicks! that's all we've done the last 3 sessions!"
and he looked at me all confused and said matter of factly
"that's why it's called kickboxing..."

i still say enough with the kicks.
every inch of my shin, ankle and top of foot is bruised.
and yes, after 50 or so kicks the bruises become numb...but the first 50 hurt like a bitch.

so then we went to punching.
my stamina today sucks ass, i think its cause my period is about to start.
so instead of punching him like usual he gave me a 5lb dumb bell for each hand and i had to punch the air with them. biceps and shoulders hurt oh so good.
kinda.

i'm ready for a nap....
i feel incredibly whiny all of the sudden.

fo' real, it's a trend...

2008-07-03T13:11:19Z

This kinda cracks me up.
Tickles my funny bone that is.

I came across this website just now (a curse on my co-worker aaron for introducing me to his del.icio.us page) - design trends for 2008.
And, well,
I guess I'm trendy?!!!!!!!

http://www.webdesignerwall.com/trends/2008-design-trends/

In other words:

MY SCRAP ART!!!

Dude, for real:

Handwritten Notes and paper clips - CHECK

Grungy - CHECK

SPLATTER INK - CHECK!

Collage - CHECK!

Sketches and Handwritten Fonts - CHECK

(well, actual handwriting)

:D :D :D :D
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAaaaa

Day 183 & 184

2008-07-02T23:49:11Z

Days 183 and 184 of 2008!

Day 183

My brother sent me this pendent from Jerusalem! It's a palm and is the symbol of peace and protection from evil. I've only taken it off once - when i kickboxed and showered. Love it.

Day 184

The late afternoon sunlight in my front window is so god damn inspiring.