Saturday, November 14, 2009
You're feeling the urge to kick back and daydream today -- and you should do just that! Your energy is somewhat diffuse, but you may be able to get a glimpse into a sweet possible future.

Just because things are going a certain way now does not mean they will continue in that direction forever. If you're bored or fed up with the status quo, take some time out of your day to dream a little -- visualize what you want for your life. If nothing else, the mental effort will bring the right kind of energy into your consciousness. Where that goes? Who knows? It's up to you to make it happen.

whoa, thanks for kicking my ass horoscope.
so, odd that this is EXACTLY what i've been thinking yesterday and today.

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ok i went to work today. :-p

for the first time in months i had a very fitful sleep last night.
now i know why my brother has constant insomnia.
i had a really fucked up dream that woke me up at 4am and i never really got back to sleep.

i was in hawaii and was walking really fast around the block of a house i was staying at.
i was walking so fast i started flying! Not high in the air, just kind of hovering a couple of feet off the pavement but soaring. I was totally happy and all of the sudden i turned the block and there was a beautiful side of a volcano in the distance bathed in sunset light. I stopped, in awe, then started flying again back to the house.
I felt totally elated and decided i would go home, check in with whoever was there then fly back to that spot to watch the sunset. I was lost in my peaceful thoughts when i turned the corner onto the street i was staying on and i saw and heard a domestic disturbance. Two men were fist fighting and some lady was yelling at them trying to make them stop. Another guy had come out of his house to see what was going on and i kinda stopped and we were both standing there watching when one of the guys fighting pulled out a gun, looked at us then shot both of us. I remember he looked me straight in my eyes and i got a chill and then BAM.

And that's when i woke up.

Not sure what all the meaning of this is, other than anxiety, but i do know recently i have been feeling an almost fear that at any time of any day me or a loved one could catch a stray bullet, or get hit by a car. Maybe it's my depression starting to rear its ugly head because i attempted to basically stop taking my anti-depressants because my diet has made me feel so good, or maybe its watching too much local news in which every day there's a story about someone dying for no other reason than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
This morniing i did take a Wellbutrin though - just for good measure.
I'm not going THERE again.

I need to journal about the work upheavel but maybe a little later.
I don't think i've processed it all yet.