i'm in such a foul mood today.
i hate it.
i hate that i know i'm in a bad mood and can't snap out of it.
it's like a PMS mood but it shouldn't be that time yet.
hell, maybe it is.
my periods have been so fucked up the last year.

i hate to whine bitch and moan but i really miss my camera.
i shouldn't have such attachments to material items
but i do.
i just checked amazon - they have it for $222 with free shipping.
should i just charge it and get it over with?
and this time get a carrying case to go with it! :)

going to get the tattoo finished today and seeing regina tonight.
i guess i'll spring for a disposable camera at CVS.

man i feel lame being so wound up by a stupid fucking inanimate object.

i want to be back on the beach.
i'm in such a bad mood i'm taking my vacation pictures off my computer desktop and putting charo back on.
i don't want to be reminded of where i was at this time last week.
and how i felt so untethered, liberated and free to breathe.

ok ... time to put on the depeche mode.
it's gonna be that kind of day.
good thing i have 32 hours of depeche mode on the ipod.

i just got a Starbucks house coffee.
I tried to quit caffeine, like Tracy, but i'm wondering if that has something to do with my bad mood. I hate Starbucks but i have a free $20 card my coworkers gave me for my birthday 3 months ago.

Yesterday when i left work i was also really pissy.
i was like wha wha wha wha like a baby.
I walked passed the Hard Rock Cafe which is by my work and heard the familiar sound of Bono's voice singing. As I got closer they were playing the video for Sort of Homecoming and I just stood there and watched. My frustration kinda melted away.
Then a block later some guy stopped me begging me for change so he could buy some pot.
Um what?!

No mood.

Overall i'm just feeling like the walls are caving in - i'm frustrated, jealous, disappointed, confused, selfish - all stemming from my own ego and need for attention which is just fucking bullshit but it's the truth at its most core.