2nd day of collage class was enjoyable.
I didn't really produce anything I'm in love with.
but I learned some really cool techniques.
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I spent today at a Collage class.
Actually first I went to the diet clinic to get some lab tests done.
I've been kinda chicken to get my cholesterol checked again because if this diet hasn't made it more healthy I fear my motivation will suffer ... but I'm getting it done.

Anyway, then I went to the class.
It started off to a rocky start but I stuck it out.

When i got there I looked around and all the other people had these huge tubs of supplies and I had nothing.
I sat down and soon learned there was a supplies list.
i hadn't seen one, realized i wouldn't be able to particapte without supplies, and all of the sudden felt like crying.
As people were setting up their tables I said out loud "well, then, i guess I'm severely handicapped today" and then this kind lady next to me said she would share her supplies with me.

Then we went around and introduced ourselves and shared why we were there and what experience we had and I proudly held up some of my scrapbook pages and said i had been scrapbooking for a couple of years and had started more and more to use collage and wanted to learn more and the teacher said kinda saucily "well that's what we call crafts, we will be doing art here" and I swear to god I almost got up and left.

That sure didn't help my confidence which is already not too high when it comes to art or craft or whatever the fuck you want to call it.
But as we started getting into the projects I forgot the unpleasantness of the first half hour and definately enjoyed what I was doing. I learned so much - today was based mostly on making our own, um, colored and textured paper, for lack of a better description, using a bunch of different methods. Most had to dry over night so tommorrow we will be using the papers we made to make actual collage. At lunch I went to a Michaels nearby and bought most of the supplies from the list.

Different techniques we used I kept getting excited about to use in my scrapbooking.
I was having conflicting thoughts all day - scrapbooking as a craft vs an art. It's like whenever i tell anyone who doesn't scrapbook that i do they automatically think of cheesy stereotypes. And I feel like all the communities i belong to just don't get what I do. Its surely been a source of frustration for me for the last couple of weeks.
So we learned how to make these super cool looking things with glue and one part of me was like "OMG I am so using this in scrapbooking and maybe even telling others about it" and the other part of me was like "this is for art not crafts blah balh alhbah"

But then towards the end of class a woman got up and showed us some of her peices. She's been doing collage for 3 years and has her first gallery show opening in 3 weeks. She said some things that kind of put it all in perspective. She said she had been in a deep depression after losing her mother and one day took a collage class and found that she could completely lose herself in it. And even though she knew she wasn't creating anything "good" or "unique" in the beginning she found all time would stand still and a peace would wash over her as she created. I immediately realized I felt the same way.

I've been looking so hard for a purpose to scrapbook. I've been stressing out about fitting in and not fitting in. When all along, what scrapbooking does for me is bring some peace to me. For a couple of hours a night or sometimes a week the world outside my scrapbook room doesn't exist and all there is, is some paper and glue, some pictures that make me smile, some good music and just a woman floating in time.

After this woman got up and talked the rest of the afternoon I had a little more confidence in what I was doing. Up until then I was being critical of what I was making, not really liking anything I was doing and getting mildly frustrated. After that, the next project we went to, I just threw the paint around. I looked at little pieces of papers I had made and although i didn't like the whole, i found little areas that were beautiful. And that's really what, i think, keeps me going - those little pieces that are beautiful, even if they're part of a big hot mess of paper, there's always something to be thankful for.

YAYAYAYAYAY I'm SO EXCITED!!

I don't know how pathetic it is that when I'm excited about something at work I have to resort to writing in my LJ...

BUT

The artist who was suppose to teach the Collage class last weekend that was cancelled just called me and she is teaching another class THIS weekend at an art center and I can take that class! She said she had the wrong phone number for me last week which is why she didn't get a hold of me but that she called the other art place and got my correct phone number. But, let's focus on the positives here.

AND AND AND
she wants me to bring samples of any collage work I have been doing (oh yes I do have some of that) and says that she has an assistant who helps her and they like to see people's work first so they can get an idea of what direction to take the class in.

And she said to bring lunch because there are not too many options around and I said I bring my own food everywhere anyways because of this HMR diet and she said she'd be very interested in hearing about that and I said well the topic of alot of my collage work lately has been about that and she said she's really excited to see it!

OMGOSH!
My detailed horoscope today said to expect non-traditional gifts today and this would be it!

But, hmmm, how to transport my pages.... in a box I guess?

For Today: October 13, 2007
If you feel like you've been through an emotional wringer, take heart -- you're due for a break soon. Your exceptional attitude has made everything go much more smoothly than it could have, so good for you! Tempers are cooling, fortunes are turning, and you are set for a traveling opportunity. You will be able to learn more about a culture you've always been curious about. Fill today with exploration to feed your curiosity. It will relax your heart and stimulate your mind

Yesterday sucked.
It really did.
Work sucked, and after 2 hours of having a mini-nervous breakdown thinking I caused the company a $5000 mistake we finally discovered it was the printshop's fault not mine. But everyone is always so quick to point fingers and they were all pointed at me for awhile. That sucked. And I'm not the kind of person to really blame other people for my mistakes so i didn't really defend myself. I said "maybe i am wrong, I don't know...."
I guess in corporate america that is the wrong answer.

Anyways last night was super mellow. In fact I spent about 4 hours laying on my couch in front of the TV. Don't ask me what I watched. I have no clue except for my new Polyphonic Spree @ Austin City Limits DVD. I finally went to bed at 10pm because i was craving a martini soso so bad and didn't want to break down and have one.

Anyways, I love the last line of today's horoscope. In about 45 minutes I'm going to that collage class and will spend the day exploring my curiousity. 10am-5pm. Unless the instructors totally suck ass I don't see how that could suck.

I think if I ever write an autobiography it will be titled: relax your heart and stimulate your mind

and you can bet this quote will be appearing on a layout this weekend....

In case anyone was worried - I am able to listen to !!! again.
I've been slowly putting their CD back on.
Now I just gotta make sure i don't shake my booty out of my chair.
That actually happened a couple of years ago when i first heard them on woxy.com.
I actually fell OFF my swivel office chair in front of 3 coworkers cause i was dancing/shaking my booty as I was trying to work to their song "Me and Guiliani Down By The Schoolyard".
Which they did NOT play last Saturday.
grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Anywhoosiiees.

I went to bed at 10pm last night and am so hyper today.
It's unfair i have to waste this sitting in front of a computer working.
Oh well.

This weekend is the collage class.
Super psyched.
I hope it's fun and informational!

Earlier I did my bi-weekly check in with my diet coach and the other girl answered the phone. She was the one who teaches the "beginner" classes I was in before moving onto the Maintenance class I'm now in with a different girl. Anyways she congratulated me on doing so well and told me she's been using me as a success story in the beginning class cause i've been adding in "regular" food but still losing more weight than before. So that made me feel good. YAY for losing weight. And having more energy.

4 more hours until the weekend.
The weather is so perfect right now.
Actually this morning it was brisk - the Coca-Cola sign said it was 43 degrees when i was walking to work. But i was super psyched cause i got to wear my favorite red hoodie again. I missed that guy.

I'm really worried about the Atlanta Water situation however.
All the newspapers and TV are saying it's a dire situation and there's only 2 more months left of water supply for the Metro area. I know too much about clean water issues methinks and I can't help but worry. Like i should go to WalMart this weekend and stock up on gallons of water or something.

I've noticed the last couple of weeks my LJ usage go up up up.
I think it's cause i'm so bored at work.
I'm not ready to look for a new job though.
That, or my brain is SUPER active/creative in the morning and there's no other outlet for it.
As the day goes on, and by the time I get home, I'm brain dead so I gotta squeeze those mind grapes while they're still full of juice. (did anyone get that reference by the way?)

Anywho, some odds and ends that are on my mind:

*** I just went on a mini-Amazon shopping spree and bought 2 books and a DVD.
All were carefully thought out purchases, things I've been wanting to buy for a week or 2 now and will be very productive (i.e. not sitting on a shelf collecting dust):
1) 50 Meatless Burger Recipes
2) Wreck This Journal
3)Polyphonic Spree Austin City Limits DVD

*** I got 2 layouts and 2 daily cards done over the weekend. (http://groovcards.blogspot.com for the cards)
I started my "Gone" layout and hopefully will finish that Wednesday - there are pictures on my dead hard drive I wanted to use and tommorrow the Mac tech guy will be in my office and he said he'd look at the hard drive to see if he can get it running. So I'll wait to finish the layout until after that. i do have an alternative plan if I can't get the pics, but scrapbook pages are generally more fun with pictures!

*** There are now 5 challenges i want to particapate in - 4 due by the weekend. I found a new challenge blog last night - inkedscrapbookers! It's a blog community for tattoo'd scrapbookers and layouts about their tattoos!!!!! (http://www.inkedscrapbookers.com) How cool is that?!!! And why didn't *I* think of that? Anyway, I'm excited about that.

*** I keep thinking about Nik from !!! and his face is haunting me. baaaadddddddddddddd. My neck hurts today too - meaning it was a good show :D

*** This weekend is the 2 day Collage class at Binders Art Studio!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAY - I am tooo excited about this. I hope i'm not let down.... I hope I gain skillz and inspiration.

I was working on my "Gone" layout last night and realized it was waayyyy more mixed media collage than scrapbooking. I almost feel like I don't fit in anywhere - not in the scrapbook community, not in the art community - on one level I feel a little lost and desperately want to feel like i'm in an artistic community that appreciates my work and i can share, but on the other hand I think about the artists/musicians i do admire and realize that i admire them because they DID NOT fit into a mold or a community and they still made their own art/music and it's all the more special because it is unique. So, I think i should just keep doing whatever makes me happy and makes me feel fulfilled and it will be awesome, icing on the cake, if I can find others that are inspired and appreciative of it and I can take inspiration from them as well.

Well, wow, that was a ramble.

And now I have to actually work.
BUSTED.

weekend is almost over (again).
as i was just helping eric send out a couple of resumes i got really bitter that i had to go to work tommorrow and he didn't. i had to get up and walk away cause i was so upset. wtf?

spent most of the weekend obsessing over scrapbooking.
did another kick ass layout last night about the Muse show in Boston and will photograph it tomorrow since it's raining and it needs to be done in natural light because there is so much glitter on it that reflects the flashbulb.

i also started a Daily Card blog where it's just a post a day of the card for that day.
that way i don't need to bore further any of my LJ friends.
But, if anyone cares the url is http://groovcards.blogspot.com/

friday night went to Star Bar with eric and my brother to see a friends of my brothers band. it was so loud and smoky i think it truly is an end of an era for me. i have almost no interest in ever again going to see a casual bar show unless it's a band i want to see. Oh, and perhaps this bitterness was because i didn't/couldn't drink either.

saturday dan and i skipped eric's gig and went to the High Musuem of Art. It was stimulating and interesting. My brother is so so so knowledgable about art it's mind blowing to me. He really should do something with that knowledge but he did work in galleries when he lived in NYC 10 years ago and he knows the culture isn't for him. But still i was a little jealous of all the knowledge he possesses about the most trivial things. And that he has favorite artists.

But the comtemporary art is what i really enjoyed and made me realize how much i have found my new style of scrapbooking. As my brother says, i have a boner just thinking about it.

last night i made that kickass muse page.

today we went to borders and i looked through different books about collage that my brother recommended. I wanted to buy one about the history (who knew Picasso was credited with being the first collage artist? i didn't....) but it was $40 and i feared i would do with it with every other book i buy - thumb through it today then put it on the shelf to collect dust for the rest of my life. So, i didn't buy it, but perhaps i will someday. Instead I got a magazine i have been eyeing for a month called 'Arful Blogging" about artists and their blogs and how they use them etc. That I will read from cover to cover :)

we also stopped at the art store out there because i needed more Diamond Glaze. I can't believe i already finished the first bottle! Anyway I discovered they not only have art classes there, but in October will be having a 2 day Collage workshop!! I am soooooo all about it!!

Off to finish the sunday errands before the weekend is truly over.