tornados around atlanta.
it's almost a year later.

breathe
breathe
breathe

OMG so busy at work...
but not too busy to look at pictures i took this morning :)
Not 366 Challenge related - just listening to Muse going to work and feeling inspired by the soundtrack in my ears.

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I've been meaning to scrapbook about the Tornado for a little while now but didn't know exactly how and if I was ready. The OLW challenge blog posted the word: Blessed and while under any other circumstance i'd perhaps roll my eyes at the word, I looked back on some of my blogs about the experience and noticed I did, indeed, use that word to describe my feelings about it.

( pictures here )

aahhhhhh
i got a little bit of scrappin' done last night.
At least, the "comfort" scrapping of the 366 Photo Challenge Mini Book.

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i just realized i didn't do a daily overview yesterday....

steps: 11,125 = 4.96 miles

hi: running 1 mile in 12.55 minutes

lo: the rather manic morning

so, tomorrow is the Live Journal boycott thingie.
i don't know anything about the politics of LJ and don't have a paid account so I don't know if i should participate...

i am not going to work tomorrow (i am taking a mental health day as i told my boss today) so i won't have as much urge to write in LJ.

The weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow - YAY!
This morning was a little scary again.

Still alot of wind and i turned on the news before work to find out that the MARTA station i get off at for work was closed for safety reasons. And that all the streets surrounding my work building were also closed to traffic and pedestrians so i was kinda stressed out about getting to work. But Eric drove me. There was one street a block away that wasn't closed and he dropped me off and I ran.

The Westin is across the street from my building - here's a picture i took out of my window this morning. It was dropping glass all over the street but my poopy Nikon couldn't pick up the image:



I feel tired and burned out but not as cranky as yesterday THANK GOD.
Depeche Mode take me away.....

Oh yes, and i thought my "daily tarot reading" was interesting today to:
The Nine of Chalices card suggests that my power today lies in satisfaction. I have the self-respect, space or esteem that I need to "bartend" my resources or to live large emotionally. I am confident in and gratified by expressing what is close to my heart or in sharing my happiness like a buffet of joy. I take pleasure and pride in the new order I have created by clean sweeping emotional clutter or in honoring what has meaning. I am empowered by recognition and my gift is contentment.

Just got this in my work email since i work in Peachtree Center Mall:

The City of Atlanta had closed Peachtree Street to all PEDESTRIAN AND VEHICLE traffic from Ellis Street NORTH to Baker Street and Andrew Young International Boulevard west from Peachtree Center Avenue to Spring Street. The high winds we are currently experiencing are causing glass from the Westin Hotel to fall.

Please be aware that the Westin Hotel is in the process of securing many of the windows that were shattered during the Tornado. Today’s strong winds are blowing debris and causing glass and partial window panes to fall from the building. Atlanta police are shutting down traffic from Ellis Street NORTH to Baker Street and Andrew Young International Boulevard West from Peachtree Center Avenue to Spring Street.

Please take appropriate precautions when traveling downtown and be particularly careful when entering or crossing nearby streets.

Sure enough when i went to the gym at lunch there are police EVERYWHERE and looking up you can kinda see pieces of glass falling. When will the madness end?

damn damn damn

i hate showing vulnerability
and weakness

damn damn damn

i'm just all out of sorts.

last night for the first time since the tornado i had insomnia - visions of huge pieces of steel flying past me was haunting me and i couldn't shake it.

i don't want to admit it's haunting me.
i also don't want to admit that today the weather people are calling for more severe weather and i'm scared.
i want to get under my desk and curl up in a fetal position.

i'm kinda tired of closing my eyes and seeing broken glass and crumbled bricks on my eyelids.
jesus fucking christ.
i feel strung out and it's only 10:30am.
and everything is annoying and overwhelming me.

Tonight is the Teenage Prayers show.
I'm depending on them to rock my fucking world.
I saw some SXSW vid of their shows and they better bring that to the ATL tonight.

I feel pulled in 100 different emotional directions and it's wearing me out.
happy
sad
scared
proud
crazy
horny
terrified
relieved
tired
amused
frustrated

all.of.the.above.

the flashlight needs to be turned off dude.


she feels the ground is giving way
BUT she thinks WE'RE better off that way
"the more you take the less you feel
the less you know the more you believe
the more you have the more it takes today"

YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
she DOESN'T CARE WHAT IT'S worth
SHE'S LIVING LIKE IT'S THE LAST NIGHT ON EARTH

she's not waiting on a saviour to come
she's at a bus-stop with the NEWS OF THE WORLD
AND THE sun sun here it comes
she's not waiting for anyone

YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
she knows just what it's worth
SHE'S LIVING LIKE IT'S THE LAST NIGHT ON EARTH

slipping away... slip slide...
the world turns and we get dizzy
slipping away
background:
the clock tells her that time is slipping...
minute hands and seconds sticking...
there's something going on she
might be missing the world turns and we get dizzy
is it spinning for you the way it's spinning for me

she's living living next week now
you know she's going to pay it back somehow
the future is so predictable
the past is too uncomfortable

YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
YOU GOT TO GIVE IT AWAY
she ALREADY knows it hurts
SHE'S LIVING LIKE IT'S THE LAST NIGHT ON EARTH
last NIGHT ON EARTH
LAST NIGHT ON EARTH

walked down to Centennial Park on my lunchbreak.
Tons of people out ALL taking pictures.
Kinda kooky.

Anyway, here are some of mine detailing my experience in case, you know, i ever forget it.
(ya right)

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man, i thought i was all good.
walking to work this morning turned out not to be cool at all.
first, driving to work - the police have Boulevard and Memorial barracaded off. This was my first snap to reality. These streets are 1 block away from the Cabbagetown Stack Condos that got hit the worst.
Then the MARTA is right next to Oakland Cemetery which also sustained MAJOR damage to its headstones and mausoleum and that was completely barricaded off.

But walking down Peachtree to work was like a ghost town.
Dead silent.
Police everywhere.
Broken glass still everywhere.
Trash lining the gutters.
Yellow caution tape everywhere.
Crews with brooms starting to make their way down the street.

Usually the street is pretty populated with commuter buses, commuter walkers, cabs, tourists waking up, homeless ... this morning i may be saw 30 other people. This is where I started to get shaky because the reality hit.

I sat at my desk for a good solid minute breathing deeply.
And now I'm shaking again.
post-traumatic syndrome?
I should've called in "sick" to work.

i thought i was fine.

pookahbot had a very good point, thanks girl: "i think when things like this happen, you almost have to keep reliving it until it loses it's power over you."

I don't know how I can stop reliving it other than working on my scrapbook last night. I hope when i look at it in the future years I don't remember this weekend every time.

i need to stop looking at pictures of the tornado damage.

but i can't!
agh!

but then i see shots like this from the park i was in and flashback to things like this flying by my head:



and just get all shaky again.

ok, no more pictures.
and no more news coverage.
mmm...kay?

weekend 365 photo challenge pictures.
and boy what a weekend it's been.
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national weather service just confirmed that dan and i were running through an f2 tornado last night.

F2
Significant tornado
113-157 mph

Considerable damage. Roofs torn off frame houses; mobile homes demolished; boxcars pushed over; large trees snapped or uprooted; light object missiles generated.


i again ask ... how the fuck didn't i die?

( pictures from other sites )

i finally got to sleep last night around 2:30am.
i resisted taking any of the pain pills we have in the house to make me sleepy.

and woke up this morning feeling like a truck hit me.
and i do have a nice welt and bruise on my forhead.

(for the tornado story)

but mostly the first thing i thought about when i woke up was
i'm not a religious person at all
but i feel like god really was watching out for dan and me last night at the park.
yesterday morning i wrote an LJ entry about feeling like i am meant to do something extraordinary with my life to help others...
i can't help but think about the connection on a broader sense.

looking at the images on the TV in daylight
and recognizing the exact area we were running in and things we were running around (for anyone watching the footage and them showing the giant olympics pillars at centennial park fallen on the ground that's where we were exactly) i really can't express the feeling adequately of how we walked away with a couple of bruises and welts.

i just remember the feeling of frantic.
i don't remember hearing anything except the sound of my heart and breathing.
mostly my breathing - i vaguely remember the wind noise, but basically just my breathing and running.

i just can't.
i want to cry but can't.
just can't.

supposedly there are more storms coming our way and i told eric i don't want to leave the house.
i have so many errands to run but i'll leave them for tomorrow and carefully orchestrate a plan to complete them in 1 day instead of 2.

holy fucking crap and shit.
my brother and i were just caught in a tornado in downtown atlanta.
like caught IN.
like i had to grab onto steel poles not to be blown away and there was huge steel beams flying by my head.
it happened like 2 hours ago but i'm still shaking.
i've had 3 shots of scotch and don't feel anything.

here's what went down.

so, my brother and i went to the Hawks game at Philips Arena which is in downtown atlanta.
for some reason around 9:15 he wanted to leave early - and he never wants to leave early.
he said he was feeling restless.
We had to pick eric up at the airport at 10 so we had some time to kill.

i suggested going over to centennial park to look at the illumination photography exhibition i had wanted to go to and it ends tomorrow. the park is across the street from philips.
so we walked over and were looking at the exhibit in the park - it was 7 foot by 7 foot lightboxes with photos on them that are backlit. it looks pretty cool. they were playing new agey music and in the distance was lightening rods. it was really neat but in retrospect felt a little dangerous and ominous.

We were looking at the photos and started hearing rain but didn't feel it - then i looked down and realized there was hail. I picked up a couple of pellets and we were like "hail? that's weird" and then it started coming down a little harder so we went into a makeshift tent they had erected for the exhibit. we're standing inside with about 20-30 other people and dan goes "this is the type of rain that passes quickly right?" and i agreed.

all of the sudden i heard the tent creaking and swaying and i said to dan "let's get the hell out of here" and as we got out, the tent collapsed with tons of people still under it. the thing is i wanted to make sure people could get out and was ok but i noticed that a bunch of the illumination boxes were starting to come apart and fly around so my instinct was to just get the hell out of there.

i remember starting to run away from the boxes as fast as i could and that there was shit flying around me and that the wind was picking me up off the ground and i was freaking out about where my brother was and at one point i tried to stop and look around for dan but the wind knocked me over and was pushing me so i guided myself towards some steel benches that looked bolted to the cement and grabbed on as the wind started whipping me and i kept seeing debris around me and i kinda saw my brother running the same direction and then i got hit by something small in my forehead and let go of the chair then started running and being pushed by the wind again towards the centennial olympic drive and watched huge pieces of metal flying around me looking for something to hide behind.

then i kinda found a street lamp with a wide base and my brother caught up with me and we stood behind it for a sec shielding ourselves from debris and then decided the wind had stopped enough and we should run to the car which was in a structure.

as we were going the 3 blocks to the car we saw some crazy shit - a building had collapsed and a bunch of cars were buried under bricks, a couple of billboards had fallen over rows of cars in a lot i've parked in before, there was large pieces of metal and glass all over the street and wires buzzing and sparking. i kept stopping and pointing and complaining how i wish i had brought my camera and dan kept pulling at me to move and we got into the car and high tailed it out of downtown and all the lights were out and shit was strewn in the road. but i'm glad he was so adamant cause watching the news 15 minutes later after getting home it would've been impossible to get out of downtown if we had waited.

i'm a little less shaky but i don't think i'll be falling asleep anytime soon.
i've never felt so scared and on auto pilot before.
like i always thought in a crazy situation i'd freak out but like my brain thought rationally about what it needed to do to keep me safe.
i also feel strongly that there is a gaurdian angel watching over me and my brother.
philips arena sustained damage 15 minutes after we left and there was no reason why we needed to leave.
i kept asking my brother how we didn't get hit by debris and he kept answering "in movies people don't get hit all the time...." and it's a weird but appropriate point.

ok.
that's all i can write right now.

(***** edit: FYI, 2 days later and a handful of LJ entries can all be found tagged here) *****