whoa:

Daily Horoscope Thursday, December 17, 2009
You really want to explore your creative potential, and you feel that you need a professional's direction. So today's overriding concern is probably how to make that happen financially. Sure, such lessons could take a big bite out of your budget, but look at the big picture and establish some priorities. Are you willing to forego a few dinners out to move in this new direction?

UM, ok, so such major nasty shizznit went down at work yesterday i was so upset i had to take xanax to stop vibrating and shaking. Basically, my supervisor left and instead of giving me his job, or a promotion, they gave me his job with NO promotion nor compensation. I was told there is no money in the budget to increase my wages even though i've now taken on supervisory responsibilities as well as general project management in addition to my already ridiculous workload.

I had been weighing my options in applying for the graphic artist job since it would leave my current "team" and "department" in quite a lurch, but after they told me that they "need" me to be the supervisor with no additional anything i'm now positive i am applying for it. It's what i really want to do in my heart anyways, even though it's probably about a $10k a year difference on the less side in salary (if they were to ever actually pay me what Sam was makingish)

so, yeah, mind made up... now to get some shit together for the meager portfolio i have, pull my confidence together and submit my resume.

as far as money goes, i've decided after the first of the year to put even more of a dent into my 401k so i can finish paying off the divorce, paying the couple of hundred i owe to my health insurance, get a landscaping company to clean up my property (especially where the branches keep falling dangerously close to all my power lines), hire an exterminator on a monthly basis to keep the mice and roaches out (two things that bring me to my knees and worse) and buy some gym clothes that fit me so i can start working out again (and a bra that doesn't pinch will be nice too).

it's ridiculous how little i journal these days.
i don't know if its the combo of Prozac and Wellbutrin or what but i just don't have much to say these days - which really also sucks cause i don't have any creative impulses either. And that bothers me the most!

Anyways, the only reason why i am LJing right now is I just had a thought i wanted to remember.
I was just filling in my work calendar for August and September and noticed August is going to suck for work but then in September I have FOUR days off throughout the month - for the U2/Muse shows!!!!!!!

OMG, i'm still unable to imagine what that is going to be like, but i do know i need to start getting into MAJAH shape for it!!!

uh oh
starting to feel like i'm loosing a little bit of grip....

i got an offer on my house!
but it was super low and today i put a counter offer in.

i have two major issues that could effect the sale:
- i can't afford the money i would need to bring to the closing if the sale goes to low and the bank won't loan me any money (they will ONLY do a short sale which is laaaaammmeeee. i mean wtf, i'm trying to be responsible and save them money and they say stfu ... wtfever)

- my divorce is draaaaaggggiinnngggg due to circumstances beyond my control

not to mention when my house sells i finally need to figure out the next step in my life...

Plus work the last week is the suck big time - it's beyond chaos, it's beyond manageable. The only positive thing is cha-ching overtime pay. But it's almost not worth the stress it's putting me under.
I hate it when management makes decisions without actually having been educated in the environment for which they are making decisions for.

i don't care if that doesn't make sense. my head hurts...
i'm so overwhelmed i, for the first time EVER, locked myself out of my house tonight and had to call my dog walker to let me in. I'm so overwhelmed i have no desire to create art which bums me the most :(

i highly respect the graphic designers at my workplace but sometimes it's just so striking the difference between designing for prettiness and designing for printing and deadline success.

i wish i could put THAT on my resume in a way that makes sense.

so, more than half my office took last week off in its entirety (including the friday and thursday before for xmas which i couldn't cause i didn't have any vacation days left) and i keep hearing people COMPLAINING it was too much time off - they were bored or blah blah blah

are you fucking shitting me?
GIVE ME ALL YOUR GODDAMN VACATION DAYS THEN and i'll use them.
Quit you're whining about too much time off and think of us peeons who only get 7 days off all year.
Fuckwads.

/rant

just confronted one of the graphic designers - well not confronted
just in a non-offensive way asked him if he knew what spot color the red was supposed to be on something cause i thought i should convert it from CMYK to spot

and he wrote back:

"0 100 100 0 is the CMYK red of bloody broken hearts"

OK - how could i be mad at that?!

i don't know what the fuck is going on with work right now but there is so little communication and so little organization and waaaaaayyyyy too many chiefs.

I've almost had it with this place.

omfg
today

1 - even though we work for the same company apparently the creative team is completely separate from the production team and though i have respect for their creative skills i am FED UP with their inability to design for production output.
Why must every fucking thing they give me be RGB or CYMK when it should be spot color?!
AND furthermore in a legend "Black and Red" doesn't cut it. Give me something more like "Black and PMS 185"

2 - after i pre-press a file and get ready to upload it to a vendor don't fucking go into my pristine files and change things and insert RGB images and not fucking tell me

3 - yes, size specs matter. yes, there is a HUGE difference between a #9 envelope package and a #10 envelope package. And a bigger difference between a 7.25"x14" letter and an 8.5"x11" letter for chistsakes. Each package is 5 elements that will need to be resized. In other words, about 1.5 hours of me redoing the creative which i don't have time for

4 - we are a marketing company that sends out direct mail - for fucksakes if you're going to design something from scratch get the specs quoted first and if they say they can't afford full bleed don't make it full bleed. If they say they can't afford a beautiful CMYK print and convert envelope make a 1 sided spot color envelope before the fucking client falls in love with it.

5 - a majority of direct mail is ink jetted not preprinted - if you're going to download a fancy fucking font from the internet make sure the printer can use it. Many of them can't use True Type or Open Type.

6 - If a package is due at the vendor TOMORROW don't fucking give me it at 2pm in the afternoon unprepped with the wrong specs and CMYK and expect miracles. I have a life outside work and will not spend more than 10 hours in any given day here. I just don't get paid enough to care.

I've just had it up to here with this bullshit today.

HR Just sent out this email:

Could you do it?
Could you do it… if you had to?
Could you live without emailing another Grizzard associate for just five hours? Just five hours?
This Friday, August 1, we want to move from less of this… (show horrible microsoft clip art of lady in front of a computer) To more of this…(show horrible microsoft clip art of people talking)

Sometimes we get so caught up in email technology that we lose the personal touch… such as just reaching out to someone to actually talk about projects and work rather than typing a 15-second email.

This Friday, August 1, for only five hours (8:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.)…take the challenge. Instead of zipping off that email to one of your Grizzard colleagues, take a few minutes to walk to someone’s work area and talk with them face to face about your project. If that isn’t possible (it’s a long walk between Atlanta and Glendale or Seattle), pick up the phone and give your colleague a call. What a nice way to do business!
Take the challenge. It’s only for 5 hours.

.............................................


OK, there are a couple of problems with this and of course upper management/HR would be clueless as to what

Sam and I's workflow:
we get our jobs via email
so we have a record of what needs to get done
and because we get so many jobs we organize them by email
and then we return the jobs to the CSR by email because this company is so stratiated that no one shares servers and there are like 100 servers - each dedicated to a team
STUPID
and to keep the integrity and security they don't share servers
We have no alternative processes in place.

and then another reason is we constantly are uploading files to vendors
and when this is done we send an email to the team and vendor to let them know the name of the files and where they are on their FTP
and then we also have a record that we actually did it in our sentbox so when the vendor calls freaking out next week we can give them the exact date and time it was sent
and forward the confirmation

LASTLY
i have discoveed an email trail is absolutely NECCESSARY for production because we are the FIRST people that are blamed when something goes wrong AND if we have evidence then we can say "um, no that WAS done on this date, and here's proof"

So, tl;dr (too long; didn't read)

HR and upper management has their heads up their asses
:D

i mean just yesterday at 4:30 a vendor called and the production VP called and were FREAKING out like the world was coming to an end because i hadn't uploaded some files
BUT, i quickly went to my sent box and forwarded the email that said i had sent the files at 7:48am
BOOYAH BITCHES

ok
now i'm done
i mean you would think HR of all departments would know the importance of email trails!
ok
really
now i am done
:D

i've been in a pretty good mood lately - distracted by my creativity infusion and kickboxing endorphins.
so, i can pretty much let work woes roll off of me.
i spend 40 hours of my life in this cubicle, but that doesn't mean i live for work.

the company is going through more turmoil.
13 people were laid off last week and they announced we still won't be getting pay increases until at least 2009. People are stressed to capacity with work and there's just a lot of complaining.

but, what i think annoys me the most (besides snot snorter) is sam.
everything to him is crisis mode.
everything to him is this big imposition that is overwhelming.
and a couple of times he's forced me to say "the world is not going to end if so and so doesn't get their edits in 2 hours like they expect even though our standard is 2 days turnaround" and then he gives me a weird look.

it shouldn't bother me that he is such a follower, doesn't like to rock the boat in anyway, never says no to someone even when their request is impossible... but it does.

i'm not trying to be difficult or not a team player, but i'm not going to let a job give me an ulcer and i'm certainly not going to call a late project a crisis. Fucking, dirty water and HIV/AIDS in africa is a crisis. people losing their homes and not being able to eat is a crisis. I just want to yell at all the people working 100 hour work weeks around here to get some perspective. Or maybe they're not making less than $35K a year and haven't seen a raise in a year and a half and get shit on because they're at the bottom of the food chain. hmmmmmmmmm

Although, he did introduce me to another new word today!
"they may be saving their salvo’s for Lara"

sal·vo 1 (sāl'vō)
n. pl. sal·vos or sal·voes
Something resembling a release or discharge of bombs or firearms, as:
1. A sudden outburst, as of cheers or praise.
2. A forceful verbal or written assault.


but all in all - i'm cheerful. in a good mood.
just roll with the punches and remember the weekend is only a day away.
here is a line from my horoscope today, it sums up how i feel at 7:30am:

"Today will be chock full of simple pleasures that remind you how life can be quite delightful and sweet sometimes!"

work has been pretty sucky (again).
good thing i've been in such a sparkly mood.
and i don't really give a flying fuck about this company.
let's most of the shit roll off me.
been so busy i can't even chat or surf or post during the day.
and at night the last thing i want is to be on my computer.

so, tuesday the company laid off 13 more people.
totally blind-sided everyone.
they don't share or communicate anything with anyone below upper management. granted, this is the most corporate place i've ever worked, but it seems so extreme how stratiated the management and employee levels are - upper management can't even socialize with us peeons outside of the workplace - i know this as fact.

they had this long 2 hour meeting on wednesday announcing the layoffs and whats going on and will be going on and all it was was 4 buffoons who drive fancy cars and wear fancy suits blabbering about nothing in particular and creating smoke screens. It was so obvious it was a joke. Everyone around me was snickering and hurumphing.

Basically no one has gotten a raise in 1.5 years and we don't know when to expect another one. My co-worker figured this year by not getting raises we've all taken 6% pay cuts.

I'm just trying to get through the day, ever day, so i can go home and scrap.
fucking hate fucking work.
but what else am i going to fucking do? live in a cardboard box and eat Ramen?

ok ... positive vibes.

i have this crazy amount of energy right now.
i call it frenetic.
another friend called it manic - but not in the bad way.
hmmmm, manic sounds bad.
all i know is i can't friggin sit still!

anywho...
haven't had caffeine since monday.
but i feel like such a waste sitting here in my cube in front of my computer
when i could be at home being creative with my hands or playing with the dogs or any other lovely thing there is to do rather than sitting in a grey cube, under fluorescent lights in front of a computer.

Tonight at 8pm I am sparring another kickboxing student.
I've only sparred with my trainer so far.
I'm a little worried since the student is at my skill level and probably doesn't know as well as the trainer how to kick and punch so it doesn't really hurt. We shall see.... 8pm is also so late for my old ass! GOD DAMN! Good thing i have some energy to burn apparently.

And, not like i have any business spending money right now, but i'm slowly becoming more and more obsessed with purchasing an SLR camera. The quality results are just too spectacular compared to my P&S. What's a girl to do but make pipe dreams and wish on stars?

All i can say is it's almost fucking friday and i could not be happier about it!
I feel like bustin out of these work chains already.
OUT.

And that frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now," but we'll stay . . .

went to bed at 9pm last night - i feel pretty damn refreshed today!
i am so ready to stop traveling and spend time at home.
and get back to a routine of sorts.
my exercise has suffered the last 2-3 weeks, my diet a little bit (during the week its good, weekends not so good)
my intestinal track is suffering (which happens when I travel too much)
the dogs are both being nervous and clingy
i'm just ready to refocus on life and creativity and not going to and from places.
i still haven't set up that sewing machine I got almost 2 months ago!

work has been kinda grosser than usual.
there's weird stuff going on i'm being thrown into without my knowledge, really, and not sure if i can play along nicely - or at least how long i can play along nicely. my old boss who i got along with very very well is now working as a lead production manager at another marketing company - she has promised me almost every day, via email, since she left, to "keep the faith" as she will try and find me a position over there. I have cautious optimism about that.

ok, to work i go....

trying not to be pissy.

let's see, i worked 9.5 hours monday, 10 hours tuesday, 10 hours wed, 8.5 hours yesterday and came in an hour early today because my boss told me wednesday she appreciated how extra hard i was working and that i could leave early today but still get paid until 5pm.

come in this morning and there's 2 "super hot rush" jobs that need to get done before the weekend.
which means i may be playing the hurry up and wait game, where I get my part of the job done at 10am and then have to wait until 3pm for feedback, which means NOT being able to leave until 5 which means another 10 hour day which is fine for my paycheck but i was super duper uber looking forward to going home early and relaxing in the 85 degree sun.

And I didn't even realize that THIS sunday is mothers day!
I thought it was NEXT sunday.
And i never made a card or anything - so that's what I'm doing tonight!

oh well.
trying not to be pissy.
it's only work.
which i'm beyond fucking sick of right now.

/immature childish rant

TGIF BITCHES.

3 days of pictures.....

( Read more... )

OH NO

Helicopter Mom, who I've decided might possibly be THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON I'VE EVER MET, has decided to go down to the mall for coffee with a friend.

But the fucking bitch forgot to disable the alarm clock that goes off every fucking morning at 10:30am on her computer. OMG even my ipod won't drown out that piercing bell.

OMG
I HATE HER.

last night was one of the worst nights of sleep i got in a long time.
wow.
it's like i never left work - every time i let my mind wander all i could see was Quark palettes and pages - which is weird cause i almost soley work in InDesign now. But all I could see was computer screens with palettes and even at one point, at 2:16am actually, i made myself envision typing an Apple-Q hopefully getting rid of the image and it did for a sec but then it came back.

Finally at 5am i got up and said fuck it - as long as i'm dreaming about work i might as well go and get paid for it.
It's weird being the first one in the building.
Kinda eery with the lights off.

The other thing that kept popping up in my head as I lay awake all night, well, i guess drifting in and out of consciousness, is i kept having the thought pop in my head "tom waits is dead"
what? huh? um, huh?

This menstruation period is really bad this month.
I realized walking to work just now it's the first i've had completely off of Wellbutrin.
That could be why.
It's also coinciding with an incredibly stressful period (no pun intended) in my life.
But the thing is, i have the crazies ... i have the horrible cramps and back aches ... but i don't have any bleeding.
Sorry about the TMI - but what's up with that shit?!!!

wow.
my period this month is fucking with me really bad.
i don't know why - i've had pretty good ones recently.
but, like, EVERYTHING is just blown out of proportion and i feel like an uncontrollable monster.

work has been horrendously stressful.
my co-worker is out for 9 business days and shit is just blowing up around me.
i'm trying hard.
i'm not taking lunch breaks.
i'm working 9.5 - 10 hour days with only pee breaks.
and i'm still unable to stay afloat.
it really sucks ass.

at least being this stressed out is killing my appetite!
maybe since i haven't really gone to the gym in 2 weeks i won't gain weight since i'm not ingesting as many calories?

ok ... back to work ....
only have time for a breathe.

p.s. - sorry friends list - i've had zero time to read anything. i feel cyber-lost.

Helicoptor mom is off the charts today.
Her youngest son got suspended from school yesterday!

I hate to find entertainment value in this, but I just can't help myself.

Yesterday she got a call from the principal at her kids school.
The only part I heard was "he said what?!" in a pitch that escalated with each word.
Then she ran out of here.

But, today I got the full story as she called a half dozen people to tell them.

Her kid went to school and said something about blowing it up then would gun down anyone who didn't die.

OMG WTF?!!!!!!!

Apparently his defense was some video game he plays.
"But mom, that's what they do in the video game....."

So you can imagine the kind of punishment he is getting from mean momma!
He can't have any snacks, no soda, no tv, no computer, no nothing.

AND she is having all of his teachers email her his assignments so he doesn't miss anything for the week he is suspended.

HOLY SHIT THAT'S MAJOR!!!

As much as she annoys me
I kinda feel sorry for her though.
Cause then i heard her say this to someone earlier:

you stop being anybody once you have kids....


:(

Is this your lucky week or what?!

I have just learned that our XXXX clients know that we have casual Fridays and have asked if it is appropriate for them to dress casually too.

You guessed it...you just scored two casual days this week...today AND tomorrow! Enjoy.


Jeanette - that one's for you!
It *IS* my lucky day.

whatever.
i'm in such a foul mood this email just makes me want to spit.

but my jeans do feel comfortable.

I so adore the blanket my brother gave me from his house.
And so does Charo.
We've always had a problem with Charo sleeping under the covers with us and she gets really aggressive in the middle of the night if we move around too much - like biting and scratching aggressive. It's actually a big problem we've ignored for too long. But, anyway, I noticed how much she loves the blanket on the couch so the other night i brought it into the bedroom and laid it on top of the comforter and she slept on it - above our covers - all night! And has done so since - YAY!



So, here's the anti-climatic picture from yesterday.
just me cuddling with the blanket.
so soft and warm.

So, yesterday I walked 8,242 steps which translates to be 3.77 miles.
Not quite the 10,000 goal but not too shabby.
If i had gone to the gym i would've surpassed the goal i think!
So, that was a pretty standard day for me - walked the dog and both ways to the MARTA. I love this little pedometer - it has a memory of the last 5 days and resets itself at midnight back to zero.

This morning when i was walking to work I almost got hit by a car. I sooooo had the right of way - i double checked that i had the pedestrian sign and i did. Interestingly enough the first thing I yelled was "Hey fucktard!" and that kinda surprised me. I thought maybe my first instinct would be "fuck you" or "what the fuck" - like I can't remember when the word "fucktard" has even entered my vocabulary before?

Anyway my first thought was a little disappointment cause i was like, well, if i had been hit, then i wouldn't have to go to work, right? but then i thought it through and weighed the options and would much rather be able to walk and be healthy than not go to work. Plus i left my phone at home today and feel so naked without it and if i had got hit i would've been fucked cause i don't know anyone's phone number - hell i barely know my own when asked!

Last night I "watched" Idol with my friend Matthew via text message. It was like old times. *sigh*
I'm sooooooo glad that stripper guy got booted - he was uber-annoying. Actually i never saw a whole performance of his cause i always muted it after the first seconds. Although that Dolly-wannabe chick was excrutiating too (i think i got through 10 secs of her performance) - Fox proablably rigged the votes so they could avoid stripper guys controversy and she'll go next week.

I'm not sure who i like the most now, also this was the first full show i've watched so i don't have a lot of history to base this on. I like the blonde girl who sang Let It Be but can also see that shtick getting *yawn* fast. I loved what Chickezie did to the song - boy does he have some expectations to live up to next week - and they're doing Lennon-McCartney again?! Wow. And OMG they need to get rid of that call in segment - can you say FLOP and give me back that 5 minutes of my life please?

Man, i feel pissed off.
Which sucks cause i wasn't in a bad mood earlier.
I think almost getting hit, getting to work with 100 emails about stupid shit and knowing i have to attend another session of that .xml class is making me pissy. I resent having my time wasted.

Oh and speaking of my brother (wait, was i?) he hasn't got his work visa yet! again! so now he's not leaving (again) on Friday. All he has in his condo now is a mattress and his computer and a small TV. Poor guy. He rebooked his flight for 3/28. damn now THAT is anticlimatic.

HOROSCOPE TIME:
Keep busy today, even if you have to resort to cleaning out the closets or reorganizing your sock drawer! Serious boredom is a horrible thing to endure, and if you don't have enough to do right now, you could fall into a blue funk. You have to use your creativity in order to keep your good vibes going. Personal relationships are becoming more valuable in helping you stay happy, so use your creativity in them. Why not write a pal a poem or sing them a silly song on their voice mail?

Can i get an amen?
How do i keep busy sitting through a training session about a subject that bores me to tears and that i will NEVER give a second thought to ever again? It's only me and one other person so i can't doodle or surf the net or do anything but stare blankly at the projection screen and scream in my head. Love the line about creativity though. Love it.